Four More Wars!?!?

MANIFEST DENSITY + the flat-footed idiocy of jack-booted tyranny + geopolitical limericks to guide us in these troubling times + betting odds for next US surprise attack on an adversary (or an ally!!)

Pictured above: Stephen (“Stevil”) Miller, Special Edgelord to the President, turning on the charm & pondering his next conquista.

War-gorged cognoscenti world-wide are pouring good money after bad omens, betting billions on whether the next hit will be Iran, Greenland, Canada, Panama, Cuba…or maybe some deep-cut country we haven’t even thought of yet!?!? Been a while since we ravaged Tunisia, I note with dismay…

Wiser heads will nod and say, sagely: “This too shall pass. Why all this wretched gambling and smoking and fretting about another splendid little war or four? We’ll just go-get-em in the next election, by golly!”¹

And yet, we are all² simply dying to know where and when the next unplanned 🇺🇸⚡FREEDOM BLITZ⚡🇺🇸 will occur against another hapless adversary or ally?

Some of the administration’s latest thinking, synthesized in limerick form for maximal strategic effect:

Pictured above: the author, mid-testimony to Congress, consulting with his best consiglieri about wielding the Big Stick of Righteous American Gore and Entropy (aka the RAGE stick)

So, after some quick computations of these limericks + Trump’s particular predilections for spontaneous violence, my prescribed prediction market odds presently³ stand at:

🇮🇷❌ IRAN 1:1

+

🇬🇱❌ GREENLAND 3:1

+

🇵🇦❌ PANAMA 8:1

+

🇨🇺❌ CUBA 8:1

+

🇨🇦❌ CANADA 10:1

=

+ stay tuned for more coverage on what could be COMPLETE WILD-CARD INVASIONS. These trades are picking up in volume, and include COLOMBIA at 15:1 and TAIWAN at 100:1 (never say never)!!

Sign up & go all-in for no reason whatsoever today!

1. Stipulate that national elections are on for 2028

2. Well, technically, others

3. Wednesday 14 January 2026 1400 in Washington, DC (as U.S. forces evacuate Qatar in anticipation of another impressive show of punching down and sowing chaos to no particular end).